Ross... hmmm...

Did you ever meet someone and you are both attracted to them and bothered by them. I won't say repelled, but there's something that you are a little uneasy with. Yup... that feeling's name is Ross! When I first met Ross, I can't tell you what went through my mind. Well, actually, I can and I am... I'm at the labs in Dr. Hubbel's office and I get introed to this guy. He seemed like one of the research lab workers. But, there was something about him. Ya know, boyish good looks. A little rough around the edges, but smart, and like a Christmas package, you can't tell what's inside. Oh, you can shake it, and by the way, I did. Of course, he shook me quite a bit as well. But, that is how we find out about ourselves. Self discovery happens in relationship, right. So, isn't that the point. When we engage in a relationship we can find out more about who we are. That's part of the magic of life. And, you know how I love the magic of life!!

Don't You Just Love it!

Yes, I do! It's how changes occur. There's all this fear in the way. Then suddenly something just wells up inside you! Even though their comfortable, we can sit in our smelly diapers only so long then they start to itch. That is even a good metaphor for our health. You can "tell" yourself whatever you want... then there is the truth. The Truth is the "real" effect your actions are having in your body. You need to serve that up, even though it seems painful. That's why Alex has been so helpful in my life. I go in deep, find the spots of discomfort and talk about them to her. She's been amazing for me. If there is a reason to have an objective friend - that's it. Not to get biblical on you, but from my perspective that is the whole point of Chapter 12 - Gifts of the Spirit. Each of us has different gifts to share. Find that gift and share it!! Marsha Sinetar - did a book - "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow". By the way, she didn't say close your eyes, quit your daytime job and leap. Ultimately you wind up doing that and THAT is EXACTLY how it looks, but that's like saying ... oh that's an overnight sensation... yeah over 20 years!! So, my real message is prepare. Like from Godspel - "Prepare yee the way of the Lord.." that would be you. Let your goodworks go before you as a testament to your greatness. Learn to believe in yourself. Pull away all those ideas and that stuff in the way. My mother thinks, my father thinks, this person won't like... first off... I would ask, "Do you know that for sure? Or, are you making it up out of a deeper fear..." So, don't you just love it, pick up that fear and have it walk with you! Start doing what inspires you! That's really what the message of my story is. The journey of 1000 miles starts with one step... make that first step and when you finish it... you'll know the next step... so, write that email, send that text, mark that calendar, as Nike says "Do It!" And, when you've done that... let me know how it went!!

Is Dr. Hubbel In?

Ah yes, Dr. Hubbel. None of my comments here would be complete without his mention. Call it what you will, but Dr. Hubbel is basically doing psychic research! In his lab, he is probing into the mind, how we perceive reality and what we can do with that kind of data. Well, at least he has been getting grants for that. My work with him has been moving rapidly as we test various subjects and see how they react in our experiments. Sometimes it's pretty intense. Like the time Ross flipped out from lack of sleep. Now that I mentioned Ross, I have to tell you, even though he is a bit younger than me, I haven't met a man with more heart. Really. That's why I noticed him. He does have a few rough edges, but that really is part of his charm. That and the way he was able to disengage from his rich family. Ahh..sweet Ross. Sorry, I shouldn't coo so much, but he did represent a challenge for me to stay focused on my work but HUGE gift at the same time!

First I met Dr. Hubbel and interviewed with him. Talk about the power of attention. I really wanted to work with him and do this "mind" research. So, I just set my sights on it! That simple. Too many times in life we talk ourselves out of things. I could have let my lack of an official PhD hold me back. But, hey, I was ABD! That's all but doctoral thesis. So, I had everything for my PhD, but I had not had my thesis accepted. So close, and in this case cigar!! I figured where could he get a person with my overall experience to assist his research? I was suprised that even with their budget restrictions he had some very sophisticated equipment. Then too, maybe they measure psycho-kinetic influence with meters in "Ghostbusters", but that's not the way it really happens. Sometimes data is just data, you know. Two dimensional, on a sheet of paper! Doesn't sound very futuristic does it? In that case, I would love to have the napkins of Albert Einstein! Futuristic, indeed! It's more about what the data is physically saying. Anyway, THAT is exactly why Dr. Hubbel wanted me to work there. He had a good sense about what I could do, especially after we had the "reality talk" at my interview. I even started to make changes in process before I was working at the labs officially.

Talk about a reduction in my stress level! The labs made my work at ICE look like slave labor by comparison. Work at the labs was tough in the beginning, but the wrinkles soon smoothed out. Hey, my attention was on making my life more fulfilling. Isn't every change like that? You know, there's all this fear going into it and soon, if you haven't over-thought everything, things just get better. Change agents motivate you, but then you need to grab the bull by the horns and make the "hard" decisions. Well, I did!! Freaked Ben Archfeldt out, but that's another whole story!!