Givens. Even the name says a lot. Givens was best at giving. Go figure. Right? Yet, even with all those clues surrounding me, I didn't "get" what Givens truly did!
So, Givens was a healing lesson for me. I didn't fully realize it until I went to that "healing" seminar and I saw how healing arises between people. As a Tesworth we had house servants. So, I figured everyone had house servants. You know, that is just the way it was. As I grew up, I started to notice that not everyone, even among the kids at the boarding school, had servants. Not to mention that EVERY weekend I came home Givens would always greet me with a loud welcome, announcing - Ms. Montressa has arrived!! That was important. I was someone special for someone. Do you know how healing that was. That helped me honor me. I was important to someone.
Oh, and by the way, I may be a book character, but I realize that tomorrow is Thanksgiving! Yes, a national day of gratitude to be thankful for all that we have. For people that find us special, for people we find special in our lives. Really to be Thankful for all of it. Thankful for the country we live in, for the town we live in. Thankful for the very people around us. Yes... whether we like them or not! ALL of it...ALL of it is showing us who we are and what we stand for!!
So, back to Givens. He taught me a lot about life, about focus, about service and about me. I will always be thankful that he is in my life. I wouldn't be able to write that last paragraph were it not for the complete support Givens gave me AND my family!!
Have a great Thanksgiving day... and let me mention that I am very Thankful for all who read and appreciate my blog!!
Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Energy... and Healing?
In my journey to me I have found aspects of myself that I always knew were there. I just didn't put any attention on them. Why? Well, they were at a deeper level of who I am and I was "probably" not ready to address them. We all have those deeper aspects and, if we are willing, as we grow and learn about ourselves we see more of them. We connect with them when our life context allows us to fully embrace that which we already are. You remember that "entelechy" thing that Mike talked about. We are already evolved, we just need to get to the point of recognizing and accepting it! Interesting dichotomy this universe presents.
So one of my aspects that escaped awareness was my ability to create "healing". For whatever reason, I had this appointment in my book to go to a "healing" presentation. You know, like what is healing? How does it look? Actually, I didn't even know what was supposed to be presented, yet I KNEW I was supposed to be there!! THAT is the shift that needed to happen for me. Life for me shifted from figuring out what I needed to do to KNOWING what I needed to do or KNOWING what was in my best interest. Seems a little challenging, right? Don't be daunted, okay? While in one context it seems almost "magical", in another it is really simple.
You see as we grew up we were taught to.... fill in the blank here. We were taught many, many things about how we need to be grown-up and it isn't nice to.... etc. Much of that certainly can be true at some level depending on the context of the situation. Still, what was missing was us. It IS okay to feel and be anyway you want. However, remember Karma always operates. It's like Newton's laws. Action and reaction. You know it is part of the duality. However, suppressing feelings just suppresses feelings. They don't go away until they are expressed. I know, I know... I harped on this before, right? Well, I'm harping again. These unexpressed feelings take your attention, your very life force, to hold down. As a result they are like a thin, maybe thicker, veil over you! And, by the way - literally OVER you as in covering YOU.. Yes big YOU. That is the beautiful being which you are that wants to shine brightly in this universe!! Yet, you are covered over and muzzled by these unexpressed feelings.
So, I went to this seminar and what I learned is that there is some kind of healing energy that operates. I experienced it. I loved how it felt. I'll talk more about this next time...
So one of my aspects that escaped awareness was my ability to create "healing". For whatever reason, I had this appointment in my book to go to a "healing" presentation. You know, like what is healing? How does it look? Actually, I didn't even know what was supposed to be presented, yet I KNEW I was supposed to be there!! THAT is the shift that needed to happen for me. Life for me shifted from figuring out what I needed to do to KNOWING what I needed to do or KNOWING what was in my best interest. Seems a little challenging, right? Don't be daunted, okay? While in one context it seems almost "magical", in another it is really simple.
You see as we grew up we were taught to.... fill in the blank here. We were taught many, many things about how we need to be grown-up and it isn't nice to.... etc. Much of that certainly can be true at some level depending on the context of the situation. Still, what was missing was us. It IS okay to feel and be anyway you want. However, remember Karma always operates. It's like Newton's laws. Action and reaction. You know it is part of the duality. However, suppressing feelings just suppresses feelings. They don't go away until they are expressed. I know, I know... I harped on this before, right? Well, I'm harping again. These unexpressed feelings take your attention, your very life force, to hold down. As a result they are like a thin, maybe thicker, veil over you! And, by the way - literally OVER you as in covering YOU.. Yes big YOU. That is the beautiful being which you are that wants to shine brightly in this universe!! Yet, you are covered over and muzzled by these unexpressed feelings.
So, I went to this seminar and what I learned is that there is some kind of healing energy that operates. I experienced it. I loved how it felt. I'll talk more about this next time...
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Embrace Who You Are... Embrace the Passsion of YOU
Interesting how we can sometimes overlook the obvious! We have "built-in" natural tendencies, yet our minds want to quantify life differently or evaluate our gifts or more appropriately devaluate our gifts! You know the phrase - "Oh, nobody cares about that!" We look at what people have cared about and then fit ourselves to what's been done. Skate boarding and extreme sports happened because someone said, "Hey, this is interesting. And, I love doing this!" Hmmm... love... that sounds like passion, doesn't it?
My bff, Alex... now there's an interesting person. She loved the thrill of racing and so, just started to race. She was good at it too. And, she didn't race because her dad raced or her dad wanted her to race. She raced because she genuinely liked to race. She followed that inner passion and was one of the few women doing it.
My passion? I love the mystery of life and I want to know more about how lives "happen". My life was interesting, but until I really focused on what mattered to me it was just what I knew. What I had grown up with. Then suddenly it was really in my face! Things happened and explaining them was hard in the context of what I had known. So, that became like a gauntlet from life, in my life. I'm like what was THAT all about! Yet, there was this inner passion that began to drive me. I started to look at myself differently. Oh, in many ways I was the Montressa I always knew, but somehow things were different. I realized life was about something else than the money I had known. It was actually way beyond that and THAT fascinated me. That drove me day to day. And, I kept meeting people who could assist me. All I had to do was be aware of what I wanted and ask. Yes, that easy. My life began to flow. While all the answers in any given instant were beyond my reach, the answers I needed for that part of my life were always there. Why? because I was following my passion! following my bliss!! You've heard the phrase... it really is true. Unfold your life by following your bliss. Hey, and it doesn't have to be a major leap... oh it can be like I eventually did, but it doesn't have to. Have you heard about overnight successes? Yeah, overnight in 20 years. The important thing is to recognize your passion and let it grow in you. You see that's the "problem" I have with western culture. We want instant. We want the cure now! We want enlightenment now! Duh... that is the point. You can HAVE it now, BUT are you READY for it?! You see, you grow into it. You feel into your being. You feel into who you are. Can it come overnight? Yup. Does it have to? Nope! That's the trick. If you go back and look at your life though, you can definitely identify a turning point. A point when you said, "Gee, I love this..." Whatever it is... and your soul smiled... if there IS a trick it is know when your SOUL smiles... that's where enlightenment comes in... in fact it's probably the most important reason for enlightenment. YOUR enlightenment that allows you to be who YOU are!!
My bff, Alex... now there's an interesting person. She loved the thrill of racing and so, just started to race. She was good at it too. And, she didn't race because her dad raced or her dad wanted her to race. She raced because she genuinely liked to race. She followed that inner passion and was one of the few women doing it.
My passion? I love the mystery of life and I want to know more about how lives "happen". My life was interesting, but until I really focused on what mattered to me it was just what I knew. What I had grown up with. Then suddenly it was really in my face! Things happened and explaining them was hard in the context of what I had known. So, that became like a gauntlet from life, in my life. I'm like what was THAT all about! Yet, there was this inner passion that began to drive me. I started to look at myself differently. Oh, in many ways I was the Montressa I always knew, but somehow things were different. I realized life was about something else than the money I had known. It was actually way beyond that and THAT fascinated me. That drove me day to day. And, I kept meeting people who could assist me. All I had to do was be aware of what I wanted and ask. Yes, that easy. My life began to flow. While all the answers in any given instant were beyond my reach, the answers I needed for that part of my life were always there. Why? because I was following my passion! following my bliss!! You've heard the phrase... it really is true. Unfold your life by following your bliss. Hey, and it doesn't have to be a major leap... oh it can be like I eventually did, but it doesn't have to. Have you heard about overnight successes? Yeah, overnight in 20 years. The important thing is to recognize your passion and let it grow in you. You see that's the "problem" I have with western culture. We want instant. We want the cure now! We want enlightenment now! Duh... that is the point. You can HAVE it now, BUT are you READY for it?! You see, you grow into it. You feel into your being. You feel into who you are. Can it come overnight? Yup. Does it have to? Nope! That's the trick. If you go back and look at your life though, you can definitely identify a turning point. A point when you said, "Gee, I love this..." Whatever it is... and your soul smiled... if there IS a trick it is know when your SOUL smiles... that's where enlightenment comes in... in fact it's probably the most important reason for enlightenment. YOUR enlightenment that allows you to be who YOU are!!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Is Dr. Hubbel In?
Ah yes, Dr. Hubbel. None of my comments here would be complete without his mention. Call it what you will, but Dr. Hubbel is basically doing psychic research! In his lab, he is probing into the mind, how we perceive reality and what we can do with that kind of data. Well, at least he has been getting grants for that. My work with him has been moving rapidly as we test various subjects and see how they react in our experiments. Sometimes it's pretty intense. Like the time Ross flipped out from lack of sleep. Now that I mentioned Ross, I have to tell you, even though he is a bit younger than me, I haven't met a man with more heart. Really. That's why I noticed him. He does have a few rough edges, but that really is part of his charm. That and the way he was able to disengage from his rich family. Ahh..sweet Ross. Sorry, I shouldn't coo so much, but he did represent a challenge for me to stay focused on my work but HUGE gift at the same time!
First I met Dr. Hubbel and interviewed with him. Talk about the power of attention. I really wanted to work with him and do this "mind" research. So, I just set my sights on it! That simple. Too many times in life we talk ourselves out of things. I could have let my lack of an official PhD hold me back. But, hey, I was ABD! That's all but doctoral thesis. So, I had everything for my PhD, but I had not had my thesis accepted. So close, and in this case cigar!! I figured where could he get a person with my overall experience to assist his research? I was suprised that even with their budget restrictions he had some very sophisticated equipment. Then too, maybe they measure psycho-kinetic influence with meters in "Ghostbusters", but that's not the way it really happens. Sometimes data is just data, you know. Two dimensional, on a sheet of paper! Doesn't sound very futuristic does it? In that case, I would love to have the napkins of Albert Einstein! Futuristic, indeed! It's more about what the data is physically saying. Anyway, THAT is exactly why Dr. Hubbel wanted me to work there. He had a good sense about what I could do, especially after we had the "reality talk" at my interview. I even started to make changes in process before I was working at the labs officially.
Talk about a reduction in my stress level! The labs made my work at ICE look like slave labor by comparison. Work at the labs was tough in the beginning, but the wrinkles soon smoothed out. Hey, my attention was on making my life more fulfilling. Isn't every change like that? You know, there's all this fear going into it and soon, if you haven't over-thought everything, things just get better. Change agents motivate you, but then you need to grab the bull by the horns and make the "hard" decisions. Well, I did!! Freaked Ben Archfeldt out, but that's another whole story!!
First I met Dr. Hubbel and interviewed with him. Talk about the power of attention. I really wanted to work with him and do this "mind" research. So, I just set my sights on it! That simple. Too many times in life we talk ourselves out of things. I could have let my lack of an official PhD hold me back. But, hey, I was ABD! That's all but doctoral thesis. So, I had everything for my PhD, but I had not had my thesis accepted. So close, and in this case cigar!! I figured where could he get a person with my overall experience to assist his research? I was suprised that even with their budget restrictions he had some very sophisticated equipment. Then too, maybe they measure psycho-kinetic influence with meters in "Ghostbusters", but that's not the way it really happens. Sometimes data is just data, you know. Two dimensional, on a sheet of paper! Doesn't sound very futuristic does it? In that case, I would love to have the napkins of Albert Einstein! Futuristic, indeed! It's more about what the data is physically saying. Anyway, THAT is exactly why Dr. Hubbel wanted me to work there. He had a good sense about what I could do, especially after we had the "reality talk" at my interview. I even started to make changes in process before I was working at the labs officially.
Talk about a reduction in my stress level! The labs made my work at ICE look like slave labor by comparison. Work at the labs was tough in the beginning, but the wrinkles soon smoothed out. Hey, my attention was on making my life more fulfilling. Isn't every change like that? You know, there's all this fear going into it and soon, if you haven't over-thought everything, things just get better. Change agents motivate you, but then you need to grab the bull by the horns and make the "hard" decisions. Well, I did!! Freaked Ben Archfeldt out, but that's another whole story!!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Montressa Talks About Her Journey
Well, I'd be lying if I told you I didn't enjoy my job! Oh, I do... well... a... I did... that job anyway. But I did start to see things differently. Ben Archfeldt, he was the COO. My dad put him in charge. When a company crashes you have to do what you have to do to recover your loses. I just saw it as an opportunity to use what I know, not to mention to show my dad what I can do! Oh yeah, there's always that undercurrent that runs through you. That feeling that you are not quite enough. It took me awhile to deal with that. Well, the fact of the matter is that you are more than enough. It's YOU who think you are not enough and the universe responds accordingly! Don't believe me? Don't! That's perfectly fine with me, but I'm going to keep telling you about me. The book will tell you the story and Mike did a good job of capturing those elements. Still, you can't put me in a box so neat and tidy! There's so much more to me than meets the eye in the story. My guess is you can tell already. There's just something about this Montressa person, isn't there. Well, yeaah. That's because there is.
So, back to Ben Archfeldt. Nice guy, a little short-sighted at times, but he WAS my boss and if you are going to be a team player... you play ON the team. You don't go running off to Daddy and say, "Ben, he's being difficult! He want's me to go to India on short notice!" And, part of that is because I do love my dad. Yeah, even though he was a bit short-sighted at times, too. Actually about a lot of things it turns out. Of course that is MY judgment of things. And, as you can tell I do have my opinions about the way the world "should" be. I'm sure you do as well. Well, let me ask you - How should the world be? The first thing you will tell me is - there shouldn't be any suffering, right? Part of he "suffering" comes from resistance and judgment. We say, this shouldn't be this way! It's wrong! Yeah, I get it. I shouldn't have had the parents I did! It WAS wrong!! Well, not exactly. To be totally clear, my parents didn't get there by accident. Neither did Givens! Can you imagine? I learned my greatest most important lessons from Givens, but if I didn't have the parents I had those lessons wouldn't have had the huge impact they did. That's why I got soooo... upset when he got sick. But see, by that point I had finally accepted that I just needed to trust myself. And, I did. And actually, that trust played a role in how I chose to be with Givens.
So, back to Ben Archfeldt. Nice guy, a little short-sighted at times, but he WAS my boss and if you are going to be a team player... you play ON the team. You don't go running off to Daddy and say, "Ben, he's being difficult! He want's me to go to India on short notice!" And, part of that is because I do love my dad. Yeah, even though he was a bit short-sighted at times, too. Actually about a lot of things it turns out. Of course that is MY judgment of things. And, as you can tell I do have my opinions about the way the world "should" be. I'm sure you do as well. Well, let me ask you - How should the world be? The first thing you will tell me is - there shouldn't be any suffering, right? Part of he "suffering" comes from resistance and judgment. We say, this shouldn't be this way! It's wrong! Yeah, I get it. I shouldn't have had the parents I did! It WAS wrong!! Well, not exactly. To be totally clear, my parents didn't get there by accident. Neither did Givens! Can you imagine? I learned my greatest most important lessons from Givens, but if I didn't have the parents I had those lessons wouldn't have had the huge impact they did. That's why I got soooo... upset when he got sick. But see, by that point I had finally accepted that I just needed to trust myself. And, I did. And actually, that trust played a role in how I chose to be with Givens.
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