New Year...New Time... Happy 2014

So, it's a New Year soon and my life goes on.... but the question is how does it go on? When I wake up to a new day, what is it I see? What I see is what I have generated to this point in my navigation of the quantum space. I see things I like and I see things that I would like shifted. How do I shift them?

To identify them I must be honest with myself and accept exactly what is. Next step is to know what I want. Health, body image, career and how I relate to the universe. What I see is exactly where my thoughts have been... where the speaking of my life has been... the things I see that I would like to shift were put there by where my attention and life force were focused in the "past". The question now is... what do I want to create now and to reference the future... in this year? Obviously, that is looking forward and it does not exist in the now. It does exist in the now as I "think" about it. However, I exist in the now and am generating my future at this moment. This is the power of you at work... generating the "future".

So..New Year, a powerful time both for review and generation. The generation of your life!

Through the past year I have provided clues as to where you can look within you to find out who you are and who you choose to be. The fun thing is accepting yourself just the way you are will provide the insights needed to guide you to the place in you you choose to unfold.

You can be whoever and however you chose to be. That is the magic of life!! That is the magic of the "quantum space". ALL limitations are set by you and those limitations actually restrain YOU. So, little you, ego, sets limitations around big YOU. I wanted to provide a very clear picture of what is actually happening and it's all good... there is nothing wrong here because you get to chose your life moment by moment!

My best Wishes to all for a powerful 2014 filled with the power of your soul or Core...

Speak Your Life and Your World Into Existence...

Since it's THAT time of the year again... you know Christmas and then New Year's resolutions, it is a perfect time to decide what you want in your life or what you want from your life. And, you can start right now. Why wait for the New Year? This way, as the New Year arrives, the gifts to yourself  have already been established in the "quantum space".  They are established as soon as you "speak" them into existence. You can't have anything until you know what it is that you want. Then you must give up wanting and be willing to have. Whatever is "missing" from our lives is missing because at some level we are unwilling to have it. Sounds funny doesn't it? The mind says - "What? You fool.. look the universe didn't give you that.." Well, now, mind, why is that... you're so good at figuring... you tell me now! Interesting question, isn't it?

So, at this point if mind wants to accept a "random operation" of the universe... its says, "Well, it didn't happen..yet..." The mind could just as well "assume" a perfectly ordered, on purpose universe. That being the case... the answer from mind then is - "Well, dude, or dudess.. YOU just didn't generate it! So, you just weren't there yet."

So, as far as the mind is concerned, there are different points of view. However, the big "you", YOU, "knows" the answer... and as your mind comes into "right" relationship with YOU... it says, "and that's all good... everything is as it needs to be for YOU."

So, words. Start with words. Do you really listen to what you say? What you say will give you the clues you need to have to focus yourself on what it is that you want. Here is an eye opening example: If you find yourself saying "This always happens to me... " Whatever "this" is has a quality to it... and given where your focus of attention is... it will keep happening. Then the question becomes - "Would you rather be right or have your life free of "this" that always happens? Do you see the power of that? Your emotional energy is behind it and you are literally letting it be that way... once you see how that is set up energetically in you, you can see how it shows up like that - ALWAYS. Also, there is a surety in that. A predictableness that your mind loves because you know how it IS. Fact is, it IS not that way!! It IS only that way because YOU have allowed it to be set up that way.

This relates to the post I did about reality... "reality is unreal." Remember? This is part of that discussion. A little different focus, but part of the same thing. The focus here is about creating your reality... and from the post about "the most powerful place in the universe"... you need to know where you are to see and accept what you have and are generating so that you can modify and create your "reality"... the reason I said Reality is unreal - is that it is not a static phenomenon - it is dynamic - you can't say it IS anyway because in any instant YOU can shift it!! It shifts immediately as soon as you do!! Welcome to the quantum space...

Speaking of healing... let me mention Givens... And, then Thanksgiving

Givens. Even the name says a lot. Givens was best at giving. Go figure. Right? Yet, even with all those clues surrounding me, I didn't "get" what Givens truly did!

So, Givens was a healing lesson for me. I didn't fully realize it until I went to that "healing" seminar and I saw how healing arises between people. As a Tesworth we had house servants. So, I figured everyone had house servants. You know, that is just the way it was. As I grew up, I started to notice that not everyone, even among the kids at the boarding school, had servants. Not to mention that EVERY weekend I came home Givens would always greet me with a loud welcome, announcing - Ms. Montressa has arrived!! That was important. I was someone special for someone. Do you know how healing that was. That helped me honor me. I was important to someone.

Oh, and by the way, I may be a book character, but I realize that tomorrow is Thanksgiving! Yes, a national day of gratitude to be thankful for all that we have. For people that find us special, for people we find special in our lives. Really to be Thankful for all of it. Thankful for the country we live in, for the town we live in. Thankful for the very people around us. Yes... whether we like them or not! ALL of it...ALL of it is showing us who we are and what we stand for!!

So, back to Givens. He taught me a lot about life, about focus, about service and about me. I will always be thankful that he is in my life. I wouldn't be able to write that last paragraph were it not for the complete support Givens gave me AND my family!!

Have a great Thanksgiving day... and let me mention that I am very Thankful for all who read and appreciate my blog!!

Healing...breathing...living

Every breath is a choice to live. In each and every breath we take we are making the choice to stay here and stay attached to this body... our body. We take breathing for granted. It is automatic. It "just" happens.... au contraire mon frère... whether we "realize" it and pay attention or just let it happen... it is a choice. This very post is on your journey to enlightenment. It was in mine for sure when I FINALLY realized it!!

So, about the seminar... that's what I learned there about living and healing. Each breath is a choice otherwise you won't be here attached to this body, your body.

So, healing is a choice. You must choose to be healed. And, the healer... they must choose to let "healing" energy pass. All of it is at your choice! No one can heal you. Only you can heal you. Sounds like a lonely universe, right? That is the price of a "free will zone" where each being has totally autonomy in their choices. YOU get to say. What's funny is that very dynamic makes the universe very full. Friends heal you. Healers heal you... the universe is so full. Love, that's what it is full of... love... and the love heals.

At the same time I was surprised at how easily the healing energy passed through me. In my case, the healing energy that healed the person I was healing also healed me. It healed me in a way that was totally unexpected by me. It made me realize how powerful choices are. My choice to let the healing energy pass and the person's choice to be healed. And, the really great aspect was the ease with which it all happened... even THAT was healing. THAT is where I got a full sense of the quantum space... when I saw it and felt it in action. And, yes, it did take paying attention. That environment pulled all of that from me... because I let it. I gave myself to the experience. Exciting isn't it. When you "give" yourself to life you get life, as in life infuses you and you actually get life, as in oh yeah, I get it!!

Healing many times focuses on a "disease". Oh, you've heard it before... dis-ease. A lack of ease, a disruption, a block of Qi. Yes, THAT dis-ease. Well, that's what happens when Qi is blocked!!  Trust me... I never thought of myself as a healer, yet there I was... healing. That was the other thing. Training was very fast for me... it came naturally to me. Probably because of my love for people. Did I say probably? See, we need to watch our words. Forget probably... it is because of my love for people. That was hard to recognize in myself. You know that Tesworth bruskness. Yet, even in that bruskness was love. You just had to look for it. Especially in my parents. Good people, but just afraid to show it... to show the love.

As I grew older and learned more, I realized how magnificent people are. They are magnificent, just being people. Oh yeah, we all have "stuff" we are dealing with. The important thing is that you deal with it. That's why you are alive and THAT's how you stay alive. And, as you uncover more of you, you become even more alive!! That is healing. Letting energy flow...

Energy... and Healing?

In my journey to me I have found aspects of myself that I always knew were there. I just didn't put any attention on them. Why? Well, they were at a deeper level of who I am and I was "probably" not ready to address them. We all have those deeper aspects and, if we are willing, as we grow and learn about ourselves we see more of them. We connect with them when our life context allows us to fully embrace that which we already are. You remember that "entelechy" thing that Mike talked about. We are already evolved, we just need to get to the point of recognizing and accepting it! Interesting dichotomy this universe presents.

So one of my aspects that escaped awareness was my ability to create "healing". For whatever reason, I had this appointment in my book to go to a "healing" presentation. You know, like what is healing? How does it look? Actually, I didn't even know what was supposed to be presented, yet I KNEW I was supposed to be there!! THAT is the shift that needed to happen for me. Life for me shifted from figuring out what I needed to do to KNOWING what I needed to do or KNOWING what was in my best interest. Seems a little challenging, right? Don't be daunted, okay? While in one context it seems almost "magical", in another it is really simple.

You see as we grew up we were taught to.... fill in the blank here. We were taught many, many things about how we need to be grown-up and it isn't nice to.... etc. Much of that certainly can be true at some level depending on the context of the situation. Still, what was missing was us. It IS okay to feel and be anyway you want. However, remember Karma always operates. It's like Newton's laws. Action and reaction. You know it is part of the duality. However, suppressing feelings just suppresses feelings. They don't go away until they are expressed. I know, I know... I harped on this before, right? Well, I'm harping again. These unexpressed feelings take your attention, your very life force, to hold down. As a result they are like a thin, maybe thicker, veil over you! And, by the way - literally OVER you as in covering YOU.. Yes big YOU. That is the beautiful being which you are that wants to shine brightly in this universe!! Yet, you are covered over and muzzled by these unexpressed feelings.

So, I went to this seminar and what I learned is that there is some kind of healing energy that operates. I experienced it. I loved how it felt. I'll talk more about this next time...

Have What You Have... and Insights

Since Mike started this yesterday, I'm gonna run with it!! "We so many times "rush" to judgment - like if I feel this way or that way I must be a "bad" person and we run away from it. Oh no! I am such a... fill in the blank... I say NO, you are just "feeling" what you are feeling - YOU aren't anything! THAT is how you start to uncover the GOLD in you! Be willing to HAVE what you have."

And, so that is one of the secrets of insights. Be WILLING to have what you have. Then notice what comes up for you in terms of judgments or other feelings. Many times we are not even WILLING to have the feeling because there is an attached judgment. Oh, I don't want to be a bad person so I'm not even going there!! It's okay... trust me... here's the downside, see that German Shepard with his head under the table and his butt sticking in the air... he thinks he's hiding because his eyes are covered!

That's what I'm saying about insights. You enter a crowded room at a party and "feel" funny. Like "maybe" you don't belong. You scan the room for someone you know. Don't see anyone. Behind that is "I'm uncomfortable". Behind that is the idea, "I wish I had stayed home." Behind that is, "I don't know anyone here." Some of that you are making up. Do you really not know anyone there? How did you get invited then? So, insight - when I get uncomfortable I begin to make up stuff that makes me more uncomfortable and instead of resolving the discomfort I want to get away from it.

Suddenly, someone paying attention to the room sees you. He immediately picks up on your discomfort. Why? 1)Because he is paying attention 2) He is willing to acknowledge what's up within himself. He sees you standing there and "knows" from his own pool of insights what you "might" be feeling. So, this guy there noticed this German Shepard with her head under a table and her eyes covered thinking she was hiding. EVEN THAT is an insight... even if I try to cover my feelings someone can pick up on them!! So, he comes over and says - "Hey, you look lost" and laughs to let you know he "gets" your feeling of discomfort and who you are in that moment. Based on your previous insights you know to just be real. "Yeah, Darby didn't tell me so many people would be here!" Now the party "ice" has been broken and at the same time you learned a lot about yourself.

Every moment of our lives hold the keys to who we are. As I said, you must be willing to have what you have. You don't have to believe it... just have it. That's the key. That's why enlightened people will tell you to take yourself lightly. In the duality is the existence of a blended being - Mind, heart and core! As you go deeper and deeper into who you are, you also understand how YOU operate in this quantum space. Hey... it's still a quantum space that is always operating. Always be aware of that.

Live Your Insights...

As we go through life our awareness deepens and we have insights about ourselves and our life. Having insights is one thing... living insights is something else! So, as we have the insights, it is important to incorporate them into our life. I'm not talking about nice ideas, but true insights. How do you know the difference? Insights come from a deeper place in you. And, that is part of the journey - To differentiate between "knowings", which I am calling insights, and nice ideas which are a product of your ego and mind. All of the "issues", things that are less appealing about our life on earth, are a product of mind and ego which occur to us as what I am calling "nice ideas". They arise from what we think. We "think" this is this way or that is that way. And, those thoughts are influenced by our emotions and judgments and evaluations of feelings. "Oh, I shouldn't feel that way". Why shouldn't you? That's what came up in you! Rather than censor it, look at it. It doesn't matter whether you should or shouldn't have that feeling or judgment. Fact is, you have it! THAT is information for you, about you. By acknowledging it you have choices in regard to it.

The "idea", for instance, "I own this land." How can you own something that you are a part of? Yeah, we own ourselves, but we really don't "own" ourselves. We are fully responsible for ourselves. Wouldn't the land of earth be treated the same way? We are responsible for this land. This is one of the reasons I say words in your life are important. The words create a relationship to you, an access to you. That is why I say to watch your words. Anyway, back to "nice ideas". Interesting, I now see that some of the issues that arise from "nice ideas" are actually imprecise use of words. Okay, then the words create an access to who and what we are. So, if I say "I own this land" what comes up in me?  This feeling of possession. A feeling of supreme authority. Yeah, right. Look at what Katrina did to New Orleans. Supreme authority. Umm... probably not! Own would not be the proper word to use in relation to all that is, would it?

This is what I am saying about awareness - it occurs like mini-awakenings on your journey which is a good reason to pay attention. Your insights are not there by accident, but are your route to enlightenment. It's a cumulative thing. The more you can live them, the more insights you have and the more enlightened you become! Is there an end-point? YOU tell me!

As we become aware of what is arising in us and put aside our judgments, we can get a clearer picture of who we are and what our journey has been. Then insights can arise within us about where we have been on our journey and what choices we might want to make based on them.

Whoami...

Yes, it's all run together. Like my life was!! Who Am I? The topical question now-a-days, isn't it? Notice how much more meaning is has when it is all spelled out... almost like we would like our life to be! Well, the secret? Accept your life. That's where it all starts. I was born into a rich family. Like if I was rich then I'd be okay.

Rich? What does that mean exactly? These are questions I directly or indirectly had to confront. I even had to confront those same questions in other people. Old boyfriends, new boyfriends... all with similar meanings and answers. The one common element was, it was not about the money or the wealth. It was more about what the money "means" to us and what the money does "for" us or "to" us. And, I can say, it does different things for different people... me included. For me the questions were, "How does this support me?" "How much do I "need"?"  "What do I want in my life?" These questions must be answered because they are part of the "whoami". As you address "Who Am I?", so you can begin to address money and wealth as well. Money looks like the currency of "external" life. As in what you actually see here and now. In fact, it is something deeper... it is your ability to continually unfold your existence... so to confuse what you see "here and now" with richness of being, that is a "mistake". Well, I know that's a judgment, but if you don't separate the two "whoami" and money Who are you? And, by the way, I am using money in the broadest context. It really is wealth I'm talking about. And, of course we can get into semantics about it, but that's not the point.

I was very fortunate. Some choices were easy for me because I already knew the other sides of the choices. Others could find it more difficult. It's like people who want to be "rock stars" or "movie stars" and collect money, don't realize there are sides to that ambition that are less appealing. Privacy, paparazzi etc.. A promotional manager that actually manages your life! Sounds good, right? Until you need to be on a plane at 5:00 AM because you need to be in a city two thousand miles away for a ten o'clock! Oh, except that you just got back from an awards party at 1 AM!!

So, "whoami". Choose wisely. Get to YOU.. not you...   you have ideas about what would work... but YOU know exactly what works... YOU has the greater wisdom. What others "think"? Not relevant. Oh, I will say what others "know" could be relevant... there's a big difference between what people "tell" you and what they KNOW! But, that again gets back to YOU knowing it too. If YOU know it, it will resonate...

Embrace Who You Are... Embrace the Passsion of YOU

Interesting how we can sometimes overlook the obvious! We have "built-in" natural tendencies, yet our minds want to quantify life differently or evaluate our gifts or more appropriately devaluate our gifts! You know the phrase - "Oh, nobody cares about that!" We look at what people have cared about and then fit ourselves to what's been done. Skate boarding and extreme sports happened because someone said, "Hey, this is interesting. And, I love doing this!" Hmmm... love... that sounds like passion, doesn't it?

My bff, Alex... now there's an interesting person. She loved the thrill of racing and so, just started to race. She was good at it too. And, she didn't race because her dad raced or her dad wanted her to race. She raced because she genuinely liked to race. She followed that inner passion and was one of the few women doing it.

My passion? I love the mystery of life and I want to know more about how lives "happen". My life was interesting, but until I really focused on what mattered to me it was just what I knew. What I had grown up with. Then suddenly it was really in my face! Things happened and explaining them was hard in the context of what I had known. So, that became like a gauntlet from life, in my life. I'm like what was THAT all about! Yet, there was this inner passion that began to drive me. I started to look at myself differently. Oh, in many ways I was the Montressa I always knew, but somehow things were different. I realized life was about something else than the money I had known. It was actually way beyond that and THAT fascinated me. That drove me day to day. And, I kept meeting people who could assist me. All I had to do was be aware of what I wanted and ask. Yes, that easy. My life began to flow. While all the answers in any given instant were beyond my reach, the answers I needed for that part of my life were always there. Why? because I was following my passion! following my bliss!! You've heard the phrase... it really is true. Unfold your life by following your bliss. Hey, and it doesn't have to be a major leap... oh it can be like I eventually did, but it doesn't have to. Have you heard about overnight successes? Yeah, overnight in 20 years. The important thing is to recognize your passion and let it grow in you. You see that's the "problem" I have with western culture. We want instant. We want the cure now! We want enlightenment now! Duh... that is the point. You can HAVE it now, BUT are you READY for it?! You see, you grow into it. You feel into your being. You feel into who you are. Can it come overnight? Yup. Does it have to? Nope! That's the trick. If you go back and look at your life though, you can definitely identify a turning point. A point when you said, "Gee, I love this..." Whatever it is... and your soul smiled... if there IS a trick it is know when your SOUL smiles... that's where enlightenment comes in... in fact it's probably the most important reason for enlightenment. YOUR enlightenment that allows you to be who YOU are!!

More From Mike....

It is an interesting dichotomy to say we have arrived, but are arriving each and every day in our journey in life. To look at it, our mind says, "How is that possible?" That was the power of Albert Einstein. He proposed things that geniuses tussled with for decades and are still expanding to this day. So, what speaks to you? That is the fundamental question here. What do you know? We are arriving and have arrived. To where? To me. I am me now and at the same time I am all of me that is... the perfect me. The me that relates to all that is.

All this is great. But, why do we do it this way? Another good question. In fact, a great question. How would YOU like to do it? Really, how? Is there a judgment arising about your progress... it should be faster. It should be easier. Why is it so complicated? Fact is, it is not complicated. We just chose to make that judgment about how we do it in our time slices and that we have to "arrive" at the enlightenment of us. Why can't we be born enlightened? What purpose would that serve for you? And, in fact may be the very reason for time slices. Time slices unfold the universe to us.

Think of it this way. What if you had a radio that received all channels at once? There would be this confusing array of sounds and partial sentences and crowds cheering etc. This way we stay focused moment to moment, all the while knowing that all moments exist, but we are in THIS moment. Then each moment is its own creation... is the best way I can articulate it. And, it is its own creation in YOUR world. When YOUR world overlaps with another's world...vibrationally, they then are IN YOUR world and in your time slice... your moment. And, YOU are in their moment.

It was much easier to think of the universe as a random event and things happen and you have to "deal" with them. What I find interesting is that you can't take the YOU out of any moment or event.
Let's do a thought experiment:
Look up at the sky at night... what are YOU seeing... IF you are alone, it is strictly between YOU and the sky. Now if you observe the night sky with someone, you each see what you see. However, the other person says something like, "Wow! Is that moon bright!" And, YOU hear this and relate to that specifically. "Yeah. That really is bright" because that "registered" in you and was your assessment. You both then make the assumption that you are seeing the same thing in total. However, YOU have a greater interest in stars and constellations and see many stars and their relation to each other. So, YOU point this out. You "resonate" with this and IF the other person is open to it they begin to notice and "see" what you "see". Would they have "seen" it that way if YOU were not there? That's what makes life a mystery... your time slices have over lapped...

A Montressa Views Life Post Interruption for... Entelechy...

Entelechy...

Montressa has not been introduced to this topic as of yet, so as a result I need to address it. A friend of mine, a transpersonal psychologist, introduced me to a Greek word, entelechy. You can look it up on the internet and there are various ways "explained" that the word came about. Basically, it addresses potentiality. Like what Depok Chopra talks about in the "space of infinite potential". However, in my approach to it, the focus is on what already exists that is complete and whole in and of itself. The example given to me was that the fully developed oak tree is the entelechy of the acorn. It is the full realization of the potential that already exists in the acorn. This "concept" captured my full attention immediately when I heard it mentioned. Here's why.

Our fully realized self is the entelechy of who and what we are. Stay with me here... so, everything we are in this moment is already contained within our being both physically and metaphysically. So, the perfection you seek in this human form, you already are!!

Are there "things" in the way? Sure, who put them there? Exactly. WE are in our own way!! Now, here is where the magic is, and that is PERFECT!! THERE IS nothing wrong here!! So, in each moment just as the acorn is still the oak, the OAK IS still the acorn. Just as you are seeking the perfection of you that already exists, the perfection of you that already exists is seeking you in this very moment. Not only that, but check this out... this perfect loving being is the one seeking you. The perfection is seeking and accepting you in a perfect way, just the way you are!! It is like the Jesus of you, the Buddha of you is seeking and accepting you just as you are.

Are you seeing where I'm going... YOU are the perfection you SEEK in this moment. So, am I. We all are striving for a perfection that ALREADY exists!! It is in and of us.

So, the judgments we have about ourselves, and by extension to others because of the mirror thing... are JUST judgments that separate us from what already exists!! And, in spite of these judgments, we are loved and accepted by the perfect being that we are. As we learn to see these judgments for what they are we are brought closer to who we ALREADY are.

To be clear, what this says is that in any moment, we have already arrived. Quantum space. Drop the separation we set up in time and we are there!! This goes back to Montressa's time discussion. What it further says and this is what I find really interesting - is that you can consult with your realized self that is the perfection of who and what you are!! This being, this entelechy of YOU can communicate with you!

Now, is this a "head" trip? To be sure yes, but only if you say so in the sub-space we chose to exist. What if you "just" take this as information? As a possibility in your life. As an exploration of the space of infinite potential that Depok Chopra talks about. Or, is talked about in the movie "What the Bleep..Do We know?"

To give you a further insight here, what separates the acorn from the full oak? Time. How did time get there? We put it there because that's how we do life, right? What happens IF we chose to do life differently? What happens when we meet and become our fully realized self in this moment? And, what happens when we no longer need this moment as a moment? When our awareness allows us to collapse the time slices.

You can see where existence is going. Why? Because I just said it AND you heard it and got it! All is shifting as I write this! Welcome to the new awareness of the quantum space!! Thoughts define this space and operate in this space. They can block energy and keep you from it or they can accelerate you in it... Now here's the real question. Can you sustain that vibration? Can you chose the thoughts that take you there? That becomes the determining factor as to how fast it can manifest. This is true of all things in and of your life. And, remember, fast is only fast because of the way we slice time... we are already there.. otherwise...

Lessons....

I see everthing in this life as a lesson. Meaning we learn from everything that happens. What do we learn? We learn who we are. We learn from our reactions or actions in regard to the lesson. Is there some big meaning behind any one lesson? It may be be a "big" lesson to you, but that is only because your mind has classified it that way. The reason it has classified it that way is that the lesson is "different" than it thought. "Oh wow, I thought..." your mind says... and it's just your mind doing what it was designed to do... think... judge... classify... which is fine. Remember I said to honor your mind, but don't believe it... don't define yourself by what your mind says. So, you had this lesson and your mind wants to "understand" it. Just like it wants to "understand" how the quantum space operates. Like, IF you understand it, it somehow adds something extra to it. I will say, IF you understand the quantum space for instance, it MAY be possible to navigate it more fluently. Okay, great. Still, remember, it is operating constantly. Even as you read this. Even as you are understanding what I am writing. The quantum space operates. The space of all things being possible. The space of all things that are. So, back to lessons... things happen and you get to "deal" with them in your "time slice" universe. This is bringing you to YOU that's all. You can make up whatever story you want around it. Something happens. Your mind looks at it and evaluates it. You have an awareness about it. In that instant, you can trust your mind or accept your awareness about it. As more and more "lessons" happen, you see more and more about what your mind does with them and more and more what your awareness says. This is the path to your self realization. That is all that is happening.

Thoughts...

In your journey in your life you attract "things" to you as a result of your vibration. That is the best way I can say it. So, to simplify it, there is something about you and the way your life is contexted that allows people to be in your space and say whatever it is that they say. You know, it's that whole mirror that we've heard so much about... like attracts like etc. The question then becomes, "What are the uses of thoughts." Thoughts tell you what is happening for you. That is why I see the goal of meditation is to become aware of you. And, of course things will come up and you go Ugh... what the heck is THAT about. Your ego will want to "judge it, classify it, "Wow, that was a weird thought.." That is when you need to focus on YOU. In these golden moments you have choices! That is the power of them... that is the power of knowing where you are. I talked about that in a previous post, "The Most Powerful Place In the Universe". These are ALL assists in our life. The most important thing is to honor what they are. Here's something interesting: Did you ever see sessions where people are hitting pillows expressing an emotion, "I hate you for..." fill in the blank. What happens is these emotions just "sit" until you either honor them by expression or finally realize there are other places where you can put your attention and you just let them go. For instance, "Oh, I see that happened because..." AND, you get FULLY how absurd it is to continue to maintain your attention there. Until this point, it may have been invisible to you.

Also, thoughts can help us direct our life. You will say, "I think I should.." Listen to the words. Do you know it or is it a "nice" idea? I see that as why clearing attention that you are unaware of is so important. Without clearing emotions that you are holding, how will you know what you know and what you think? And there IS a difference. Do you know your name or do you think it? Do you know you have kids or do you think you have kids? It's really that simple.

In starting to utilize ANY of this, start little by little. A post like this can tell you where to start looking, but YOU need to do the work. It is different for each of us. THAT is why we are here. Honor your ego, but don't believe it. It is just an opinion of the mind. Our mind even questions the order of the universe. We say, "That shouldn't have happened.. " What you can say is from your limited perspective, yeah it shouldn't have happened. Guess what? It did AND it is in your awareness space!! How did it get there? Universal accident? There ARE no accidents!! Or, eliminating the negative: the universe is on purpose!

Oh, don't get me started. Yeah, I really want to get started about this! Accidents? Really? What did Einstein say - "God does not play dice with the universe!" Not that he was any expert on life, but he did know and connect with a few things! Accidents? That's how we absolve our responsibility... our lack of awareness. Hey, I'm good with that. We each are where we are and that's fine because it's the judgment of ourselves AND others that creates the need to absolve ourselves. Once we "believe" the judgment we go to "there must be something wrong here.." yes, there is... it's called the universe in operation... but we have the audacity to judge it in our finite wisdom.

So, now when you finish reading this, and turn your attention to the outside world and if it isn't how you "think" it should be, remember it is the way it is and that's fine. Be clear on what you want and attract it to you!! The mere fact that you suspended judgment will begin allowing it to happen.

Let Yourself Dream....

It's your life. If you could have it any way you want it, how would that be? Here's the deal... in order to have ANYTHING you need to know what it is! In detail!! I want a car. Nice. Okay, here's this rusted beater. Okay? Nooooo..... oh, well what did you want? I wanted a Mustang convertible!! Ahh... says the life genie. You turn around and there is this olive drab Mustang convertible with a camouflage roof. Ugh... so you turn to the life genie and say, "camouflage roof! What were you thinking?" I wanted it bright red with a tan roof!! And, a five speed on the floor, with Goodyear touring radials. Ohhhh.... the life genie says... I can do that!!

So, the point is, if YOU don't know or are not clear on what you want - HOW can LIFE, to be more specific, YOUR LIFE, EVER give it to you!!! Duh... Yet, how much of our life do we spend being unclear about what we want. What we do want brings things, people etc. into our lives. So dream, but don't dream from this is pure fiction. Or, if everything goes right ....Or THIS is what I want BUT. Own it. What you "feel" inside, how it occurs to you, is as simple as... I'm getting a glass of water. Dream from this is the reality I want and be prepared to receive it!! You know, my story... heck my life, is set in "if I was rich then I'd be okay!!" Guess what? New set of issues to deal with!! So, be prepared to deal with that which you want.

So, dream and BE CLEAR about what EXACTLY you want. Every detail. And, know that it IS possible to have it. Here's the catch - and the best way I can describe it... remember my last post about time being set in vibrations... well, you must vibrate like what you want. It is like two tuning forks in resonance! How do you get there... be clear, that's how. That clarity sets a "vibration" up in you. You start to become "like" that which you want. If you know what you want then it can clearly arise in you. That is how the law of attraction works. Works in your love life the same way. In your career. All the same way. Get into what it is that you want. Don't back into it by saying I don't want a... no, no, no. Positively what you want. Clearly, cleanly. Exactly like the Mustang. Oh yeah, what kind of rims did you want those Goodyears mounted on for your Mustang? Yes, that specific.

Here's the thing... how will you know whether you are clear? Well, let me put it this way - Wayne Dyer has a book called "You'll See It When You Believe It!" Well, folks it's waaaay more than belief... although that is on the right track!! It is deeper than belief. It IS YOU. Then YOU own it!! So, YOU must get to a place of having your dream. If with all your clarity YOU are not willing to have it, you won't! And, that is perfectly fine. Remember, I said be prepared to have it. Here's an example: I want a mansion on hill. How will it be landscaped? Who will maintain it? In your clarity, did you mention where you will get money for owning it? Oh, didn't want to own it? Then who will your contact be that let's you live there?

So, let yourself dream of the things that matter to you... be perfectly clear on that... learn to have it be a done deal in you... and, most importantly, accept where you are at.... Here's why I say that, I don't know exactly what the statistic is, but many people win lotteries. They don't stay "rich", Why? They are not willing to BE rich. That simple. They can set up a vib to WIN, but keeping is a whole nother story!! different vib by the way... try it... say I want to win a million dollars... feel that... now say... I want to keep a million dollars... different isn't... subtle... but different...

We Interrupt Montressa's Blog To Present Some Info... Again!

I have made some improvements to Montressa's Blog: Montressaviewslife.

I have collected posts with similar themes together, called labels, and identified on the right as:"Montressa's Blog Topics". This allows easier navigation of this blog and the ability to find topics more easily. At the bottom of each post is a label that becomes a "Blog Topic". If you look at any of these and say, "Why the heck did he put it there?" Let me know. The whole point is to make the information easier to navigate and use. Also, you can navigate by date as well, which is just below the blog topics on the right. There was some labor involved to achieve this and I hope it makes your navigation of Montressa's words of wisdom easier!!

For those who do not know, the Montressa Views Life Blog was created so the central character of my "fictional" novel ICE, India & Old Lovers can speak about what she knows based on her life so far. As a result, the book is her life "back" story. It seemed to me the context of her story was the only way Montressa could talk about her life with other people. Montressa is still evolving, like we all are. At the same time she "knows" alot about who she is, what she stands for and where her life is going and has faced many of the issues we all face. Owning who she is took courage. It took courage to confront the things in her life that she needed to in order to re-order her priorities and address her needs. Basically, Montressa had to "reinvent" herself. So, her whole life in the novel occurs at a cross-roads for her.

Montressa is a real human in every sense of the word. And, that is the point of her blog. What she has achieved, she has achieved through her courage and her own determination. She will tell you she has had her challenges!!

I am getting closer to being able to "launch" ICE, India & Old Lovers in a paper version. I'd like to get additional endorsements as well. I will also do an ebook that at this point I am "thinking" I will make available through Amazon because of it's ease of use.

"The prismatic life-mirror created by ICE, India & Old Lovers is a true one-of-a-kind reading experience designed for your enjoyment and enlightenment."
Dr. Susan Smith Jones is a leading voice for health, fitness and human potential in America today and is the author of 27 books including the Pulitzer Prize nominated "Choose to Live Peacefully"  Most of all I appreciate your interest in this blog and my fondest "want" is that it assists you in addressing and having your life.

As always, feel free to comment and contact me.

I'm on Facebook as Mike Vecchio (With a Montressa Timeline Picture)

or leave a comment & I can respond.

Time?

Dare I talk about time? Okay, what do we know. Yesterday was before now and now is now and tomorrow is after now. Sounds linear, doesn't it? Well, that is the way we "do" time. It is ordered and there is a progression "forward". So, the first thing is that time provides order... this happened, then this happened etc... in 1863, Lincoln had the "Emancipation Proclamation". Or in June 1947 it is suggested that an alien space craft crashed in Roswell, New Mexico. These are points on a time line that are thought of sequentially in terms of now, except it was then. Easy, right? Keeps our lives simple because that is the way we "live" it. What if, as some say, there is a vibration associated with each of these "times". We would live a sequence of vibrations. Still vibrations - but sequenced. Like an FM radio dial that starts at 88 and goes to 108 MHz. Those are the carrier frequencies for the "information". However, on the radio "time line" we listen to the information first at 88, then 88.7, then 99... etc... this then sequences the information for us in a linear fashion. In actuality, we can tune to where ever we want! But, remember in this "domain" we live in, we typically sequence "time" linearly. Keeps things orderly. Also keeps things sane... That was yesterday, now is now. And, this now is a new "moment", a new point in our linear time. And, one vibration leads to another and another. Somehow, the vibs are linked. Well, at least we keep them linked. The linear characteristic may even "pervade" your memory... What is being "learned" in quantum mechanics is that gravity may interplay with space AND time. So, if we are going to think of it as a mathematical matrix, there are 4 things that define a "location" 3 space and 1 time. I know, a little dry so far, huh? Here's the thing, our progress "forward" in time has a direct relationship to our ability to allow ourselves to move or navigate time. It's like we have to be ready to take the "leap". Our whole attention must be on "And, this is ALL possible". Otherwise, it's not possible... sounds a bit parablish...doesn't it? The bottom line is we need to be able to sustain wherever we place our attention. So, if you can't sustain it because you question it, what good is it to you? Make no mistake, all things are possible - that's what the religions are "trying" to teach. How you actually get there is another whole issue!!

Sometimes It Ain't Easy...

Yes... life can sometimes be challenging. You know deep inside what you want, yet something is in the way. This is what I mean about "thought forms". They literally take shape in you. Heck, they literally shape you!! So, this is why it is so imperative to be aware of your words. These become a roadmap to YOU and what you are creating. This is where the ego can help you be more of you! The ego can assist in being aware of your words. The ONLY thing YOU need to do is be aware of any judgments ego has. Those judgments can "land" in you as well. They are as real energetically as any thought form and can block you as well. So, in a way, life is like delicate surgery. On the one hand it is good to stay relaxed, on the other hand it is important to stay vigilant. A trained doctor knows what he is doing so he is relaxed and in fact, he has to be relaxed to do what he does, yet at the same time he is always aware of what is going on and any time he needs to pay special attention he does... Well folks this is life on Earth right now for us... as we get better at navigating the quantum space it becomes easier and we can be more relaxed!! Here's the good news. There will come a time when the viligance will be automatic and you will always be aware of what you are generating and make choices in the moment. Actually, there will come a time when there is no time!! Oh, wait, that's another whole post... at least...

Not descriptions...

I wasn't going to explore this, but after yesterday's post it is important to mention here how WE look at "not" and then what the universe sees. Your attention controls your life force flowing from all that is. Your mind logically can deal with not. Big, NOT big. How about little? Much more definitive. Why put any attention on what you don't want? Why even create that thought form? Actually, it's a good thing the universe does not recognize "not". How many people have become great singers that started from "I'm not a good singer"? Or, "I'm not a good dancer?" Imagine if not mattered. See my point? You've heard it... "Well, I don't want to seem negative..." Wow, glad you don't want to seem negative because what you are saying sure sounds negative to me!! Just say it and own it. Look, this plan has some flaws. Or, better yet if it's true for you, "this plan sucks!" Not politically correct you say. Say it! Be the author of it. Look, if I don't like you - then invoke Mark Twain - "Your opinion of me is none of my business." Better yet, 'thank you for sharing your opinion'. So, why "back" into things with "no" or descriptions that say...well it's sorta like saying you sorta like it, but there really is no appeal for you. Or, it's a sorta big boat. Or, I "guess" we will do it this way. And, by the way, we are all guilty of this.

Did you see the struggle I had with "not". And, what you don't see here is Mike's continuing focus to edit the "nots" out before I publish. We need to be the authenticity by fully backing what we say. Okay, we don't "need" to be anything. It certainly would assist us in clarifying what we communicate. So, what kind of boat was it exactly? Do you like it or does it lack appeal for you? We like to be colloquial. Well, everybody talks that way... notice, everybody TALKS that way, communication was not mentioned. Notice how life "works" for everybody with that level of communication. Admittedly, we all need to get our egos under control. Hey, I'm not anti-ego... and my ego knows that perfectly. I like my ego and she knows it. My ego trusts me because she has seen how powerful I am. That is what owning yourself generates. Ego trust. Hard to believe isn't it? True story. The more you connect with and trust core the more comfortable your ego can be. Without that, your ego "thinks" it needs to control everything. I mean the universe will fall apart without that control. The quantum space will stop operating, right!! Once you become perfectly clear on who you are, even in short bursts of perfect clarity, the ego relaxes. For me, the best example is people with talents. You know if the ego is operating when they perform. Oh yeah, he was just going through the motions. Right, the talent was not played from core. Give your ego a break! One way for the ego to relax is to get very clear on your communication. When you communicate where you are at clearly it serves two purposes. 1) The communication IS authentically YOU. 2) The ego can relax. The need to protect anything goes away. I mean it simply is where YOU are at, "big" YOU at core. What's there to protect or defend. The ego may still "think" it needs to "defend" your "brash" words or actions. Tell it to relax. I'm reminded of a scene where Jesus overturned tables in the temple. I would "guess" at the first table Jesus' ego said shaking its head, "Oh shit...Jesus, I don't know... those Pharisees.." And, JESUS said from core, "Thank you for sharing" as he threw over another table!! Authenticity... that's what it looks like sometimes... So connect with core, with your soul, and let people know where you are at by speaking clearly. I began to learn that in my journey in the story.

Yesterday's Post Today...

To show you the difference in communication here is yesterday's post with the negatives removed. No more not's, nothings etc. unless I want them there.

To me enlightenment occurs as a process. Sure, voila, you can be enlightened. However, there is a process of sustaining the energy level or "vibration" level. And, I know for some that sounds wu-wu, but I just don't know at this point how else to reference it. Hmmm... and the opposite is? I do know how to reference it. Okay, okay... give me a second to let that settle. New moment!! So, it is a vibration, just like tuning a radio. You tune to what you want to hear on the radio and similarly to what you want to experience in life. So, to me, enlightenment happens in steps. The best analogy I can give is grab two wires with 50 volts. Ouch. now try it again, and again. Now let's try 100 volts! Ouch. etc. Pretty soon you can train your self to handle that. By the way, I'm talking lower current here!! Still, you get the idea. As we live, if we are "paying attention", and you know that's a sensitive spot with me because as humans we miss many times what is going on and there's the rub, there's the inhibitor to enlightenment. In fact, we say things and when asked, "What did you say?" we can't even repeat it. We get, "Well, I said something to the effect of..." No...no... what EXACTLY did you say? EVERYTHING is there for a reason. The quantum space operates ALL the time 24/7. Look, I want to show you what is happening. See how I'm watching my words. THAT's what it takes to communicate clearly. THAT's how you show respect to people. THAT's how you show respect to yourself. You communicate from, my life is so worth it and your life is so worth it that I want you to get me perfectly and I want to get YOU perfectly!! Watching my words is showing the greatest respect I can give you. Okay, now that you know I totally respect you, many awakenings. See, this ties into what I was saying about paying attention. There are many things in life that are awakening us, but we miss awakening moments because our attention is elsewhere. And, BY THE WAY, THAT is fine. Everythying is happening for a purpose. Sustaining your complete attention can be difficult at times. BUT, I know you see glimpses. Just like I do and did. You see through it for a spilt second. Golden moments. That's when your core engages and you are totally intuitive. In that space you know all you need to know. Pretty cool stuff. Suddenly, the thought flashes... "I don't know what I just said (or "my attention was somewhere else)"... and you go back and retrieve it. THAT my friends is a mini-awakening... a step to enlightment. Living this human life, we so many times over look the obvious. I once saw a sign, "God created the simple things to confound the wise!!" Loved it!! And, yes sometimes the awakening is huge! At least its affect on you! That's how you gage it, if you want to judge it. A person could say one simple sentence and your whole life profoundly changes for the better. But, remember this, that one sentence was there for a purpose. YOU invited it in. YOU were ready to "hear" it in a profound way!!

I could have just re-wrote my original post cleanly without the negatives and removed backing into my descriptionsm with nots, but from my perspective this was much more constructive, especially for me, and I hope you see something here that makes a difference for you. As always your comments are welcome. Even though I'm "fictional" I'm on this journey just like you. Everthing I say comes out of the context of my life. So, I don't say it unless my life supports it based on what has happend to me!!

Many Awakenings...

To me enlightenment occurs as a process. Sure, voila, you can be enlightened. However, there is a process of sustaining the energy level or "vibration" level. And, I know for some that sounds wu-wu, but I just don't know at this point how else to reference it. Hmmm... and the opposite is? I do know how to reference it. Okay, okay... give me a second to let that settle. New moment!! So, it is a vibration, just like tuning a radio. You tune to what you want to hear on the radio and similarly to what you want to experience in life. So, to me, enlightenment happens in steps. The best analogy I can give is grab two wires with 50 volts. Ouch. now try it again, and again. Now let's try 100 volts! Ouch. etc. Pretty soon you can train your self to handle that. By the way, I'm talking lower current here!! Still, you get the idea. As we live, if we are "paying attention", and you know that's a sensitive spot with me because as humans we don't "pay attention" hmmm... we miss many times what is going on and there's the rub, there's the inhibitor to enlightenment. In fact, we say things and when asked, "What did you say?" we can't even repeat it. We get, "Well, I said something to effect of..." No...no... what EXACTLY did you say? EVERYTHING is there for a reason. The quantum space operates ALL the time 24/7. Look, I'm not trying to make you paranoid... not...hmmm... I want to show you what is happening. See how I'm watching my words. THAT's what it takes to communicate clearly. THAT's how you show respect to people. THAT's how you show respect to yourself. You communicate from, my life is so worth it and your life is so worth it that I want you to get me perfectly and I want to get YOU perfectly!! Watching my words is showing the greatest respect I can give you. Okay, now that you know I totally respect you, many awakenings. See, this ties into what I was saying about paying attention. There are many things in life that are awakening us, but we are not letting ourselves be aware of them... not... hmmm... we miss awakening moments. And, BY THE WAY, THAT is fine. Nothing is happening by accident... hmmm... everythying is happening for a purpose. You are not ready to sustain it... hmmm... sustaining it is difficult for you. BUT, I know you see glimpses. Just like I do and did. You see through it for a spilt second. Golden moments. That's when your core engages and you are totally intuitive. In that space you know all you need to know. Pretty cool stuff. Suddenly, the thought flashes... "I don't know what I just said." (don't is okay here because you "do not know" - you could also say "my attention was somewhere else")... and you go back and retrieve it. THAT my friends is a mini-awakening... a step to enlightment. Living this human life we so many times over look the obvious. I once saw a sign, "God created the simple things to confound the wise!!" Loved it!! And, yes sometimes the awakening is huge! At least its affect on you! That's how you gage it, if you want to judge it. A person could say one simple sentence and your whole life profoundly changes for the better. But, remember this, that one sentence did not get there by accident... was there for a purpose. YOU invited it in. YOU were ready to "hear" it in a profound way!!

But Wait, There's More...

So, as a follow-on to yesterday's post... Okay, what do you do once you know where you are? Here's what I'd say. If it is a mental issue that arises from an emotional issue that comes up as a result of judgment where you say, "I hate this", then, Great. Now you know where you are focusing. Do you want to continue to "hate this" or is there another way to see it? What about an opposite? "I love this!!" Of course then your local mind will say, "Are you crazy? You LOVE this?" Okay, "I'm very sane and I love this." "You're sane? Really." "Yes look, hating it hasn't done anything so far. And, it must be there for a reason. I mean how did it get there otherwise, right?" Then your mind will relent and say "Okaaayyy... you can love this..." As soon as that release happens - everything changes... in a good way (notice the judgment there... I'm still willing to go with it though - I just wanted to point out something that could slip by us). So, you approach life from a proactive standpoint always looking for what conversations are generating your life. The words that come up provide that insight. They too are there for a reason!! Do you see how perfectly connected everything is? What looks ramdom, certainly is not. Whether you like what's there or not, well that's another issue. Okay, that was pretty easy. Let's keep going. Want to have a tantrum? Really? I'm okay with it. In fact, if you know how "uncovered" you'd be after, you'd be okay with it too. I know it would be a funny world if we all went around having tantrums every time we had a judgment we didn't like, but think of this... we don't do that and look at how the world looks. The ludicrousness is just covered over. It's like a German Shepard trying to hide under a table with it's ass sticking out. That's how stupid we look energetically, stuffing our emotions down. Oh yeah, right, nobody can see them. Is that hilarious or what? Some call it being authentic or being real. So, let's get real, our toddlers are. Funny, they are WAY more in the FLOW then we are. Hey, they don't get what they want, watchout, Yo. They're comming after you!! Besides the fact that it can be maddening for us... there's something to learn there. Really. My favorite word... of course it's my really, but I invite you to share it with me so it becomes your "really". Remember we talked about "reality" awhile back.

The Most Powerful Place in the Universe!!

Knew I'd get your attention with that!! So, where is the most powerful place in the universe? Right where you are!! Yes. If you know exactly where you are then you know all you need to know because it gives you choices in terms of what direction you want to go. As I said in yesterday's post, for me, that is better than stored up riches because it allows you to navigate insitu... in the situation, right were you are at! I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm pissed. I'm lonely. You can differentiate between heart things - emotions, head things - what you are telling yourself and judgments and core things - what you need to do NOW to assist your life flow. Have you ever watched a kid have a tantrum? They have the tantrum, get over it and move on. We, because we have been trained as "adults", aren't allowed that luxury. We need to be nice. Well, anger and fear are not nice. Notice my judgment. What was yours? Anger looks so intense, you know. Scary even. What causes illness is the supression of these emotions. They just want to flow through you and be done. But no, we have been trained as "adults" that this is not nice. It brings stuff up in the people around us. Know why? Yup... they are just as pissed about something as you are and you are allowing that "vibration" which they are attuning to and it comes up in them and they "want" to express it, but mentally have this need to suppress it because they were "taught' it's "not nice" to make people uncomfortable around you. So, what I am saying, if I'm making you uncomfortable and I'm in your "space" what does that say about you? By the way, I'm not saying that you "need" to address it. Maybe you're not ready. That's fine. Remove yourself from that space!! That's the whole point of this post. Know where you are and what is going on. The most powerful place in the universe. So, getting back to being uncomfortable. That can tell you something about you. It's not bad or good. It's just information that assists you in knowing where you are. And, it may just be something you don't like because you've been there and done that. So, what you do about it is another thing. However, know that when you are in the position of knowing and accepting what is going on in you, YOU are in the MOST powerful place in the universe... for YOU for SURE! Then there is the question of what DO you do about it?

If I Were a Rich Man... yah..da..da.. dah!

Since the last post was l'chaim, and since "Fiddler On The Roof" is one of my favorite Broadway shows, let's talk about if we were rich men!! Well? Many think if I were rich then yahda, duhda, da... not to be confused with the song yah..da..da..dah!! So,there's this string of logic that the mind follows. Well, here's the deal... YOU still MUST deal with YOU!! How you see life. What your satisfactions are. That's where you need to be looking for salvation. Remember a few posts back I talked about awakening and Tony Robbins was one of the examples I mentioned. He just woke up one day and "saw" it all differently. I'm sure initially it looked like any other day... then suddenly there was this thought that came up. Instead of brushing it aside as not within his realm, given his current conditions, he said wait a minute...yes. This IS NOT working... remember also in another post I talked about rock bottom. THAT is a motivator. One thing you can do is look at all the "reasons" you are not rich, assuming richness really gets you anything. What opportunities did you let go that could have been the "gateway drug" to you!! For me, it could be useful to notice those, but certainly not dwell on them because that then reinforces where you are at. When you look at them, this allows you to accept your life, right now, as it is. That's important. Remember, there is nothing wrong here... just YOU don't like where you are at. That's perfectly fine... another acknowledgement of where you are at. There could be some heavy duty emotion attached to that. That's fine as well. If that does come up for you, you need to deal with it. Part of the issue is that emotional stuff is in the way. Do you feel worthy? Did someone hurt you and you're not gonna do THAT again? You know those kinds of things. That happend to me in my life but about a different issue. Still, it pissed me off!! Here's what I'll say... some people just continually "generate" from the quantum space. They don't need to be "rich" in THAT sense. They are. Hey, they're attached in a profound way to the quantum space. Yet, others ARE rich because they are attached to the quantum space. Doesn't matter how you get there. The common space is the quantum space. So, I would say ponder how you relate to YOU. That is much more profound than "If I were a rich man.." In fact, if you do ponder that you will have access to all that you need.

Focus on Life! To life, l'chaim!

Focus on living. We spend too much time focused on the limitation of death. We live part of life because... well there is death at the "end". There is much more to life! I find it amazing listening to people. I've heard people say that death is a part of life. I don't get that. How does death in anyway even relate to life? Why is life even in the same sentence with death. Death is death. It has nothing to do with THIS life or the life I am living. In fact, I'm not even sure it really is the "end" of this life. What I know is that I have seen people die. That is part of their "life". It's like death is an end result. There are all these aphorisms around death. That it is the final part of life. If that IS true, why do you even call it death? It is the "normal" "termination" of a life, right? Why? Because "everybody" knows that. Well, what if I didn't "know" that? Then what? And, you have to remember several things that I know about. Remember in my last post I talked about taking one step and going about a mile and making a trip in less time then everybody "knows" it would take. Not to mention the things that happened to me in India and what happens with Givens and the healing lecture I attended. So, for me, I don't quite agree with what everybody knows. There are more possibilities in my world! I've even heard someone say... I can sleep all I want when I'm dead. Well, sleeping is a part of life. In a way, it is how we regain our life force. We reset our mental processes. We literally are born anew each day by how effectively we sleep. In part, I learned that in the laboratory experiments. So, I say... l'chaim!, To Life!

It's All Gonna Be Different!

So, I was talking about owning yourself, awakening and it's all gonna be different. The awakening - that's the thing that can start the process of you evolving in a very tangible way. What happens is that something happens that is completely different than you expect. Sometimes something very simple. The most extreme I ever heard was these two guys were walking to their motel that was say about a mile away. Took one step together and were at the motel!! True story. Another time these two other guys were driving home and saw a sign on the highway flicker. Didn't think much of it. Then found out they had just made a four and half hour trip in less than four hours!! It was after midnight and they NEVER went over the speed limit. Taking the route they took there was no way that it would happen in four hours. True story. In the second case, the theory was that there were "frames" missing from the continuum. That sign flicker was actually the first sign of it for them. So, awakening can happen in many ways. Certainly you HAVE to be open to it and you need to be paying attention to your life. Once you can accept that, then it WILL all be different. Profound changes like that that wake you up. And, it doesn't have to be that dramatic either. Sometimes it's very subtle. You wake up one day and just know through all of you that your life has changed. Anthony Robbins is an example of that. One day he woke up in his 700 square foot apartment, overweight, no money and just "saw" that it all needed to be different. This can also happen when there is a "dramatic" event in your life, but it doesn't have to. See, that's what I mean about the mystery of life. Actually it "really" isn't a mystery, but the local mind just can't wrap itself around it. Like one step to a motel that is one mile away or a missing half hour. So, it's easy to say... life is mysterious. And, for the local mind, that's fine. I'm just saying don't stop there. Keep going. Go into the mystery deeper. I had to and it was worth it! Otherwise, as I've said before, "You're navigating the quantum space without a license!!"

Owning yourself...

Mmmm.... Owning yourself... well, perhaps accepting yourself is a better term. There sometimes is so much about us that we are resisting about ourselves. Me... phew... a lot that I have resisted. Much of that was caused by what "I thought" the expectations of others were. Those expectations masked me. In fact, as I thought about it... the way I was operating... just about all of it masked me. What ICE expected of me. What my dad expected of me. What my mom expected of me. Actually, mom was easier to deal with! I just totally resisted all that I "thought" she stood for. Easy, right? Whatever the issue is, nope that's not right. It needs to be this way. The trap there is - the "stereotype" of being. No freedom in that, right? Really. After awhile, it was so confining. Took quite awhile in my life to see that. That's where Givens comes in. He was inspiring for me. It came as a slow realization. Of course, India brought it all together. You could call that an awakening. However, I will say... an awakening may never look like what you "think" it will look like... that is why it is an awakening... the very name says it all. "Something" happens... I call that the mystery of life... and you know it is all gonna be different... the mystery of life.

Awesome...

The universe is awesome! Life is awesome! I'm so geeked I want to say it is f'ing awesome!! By this point, I bet you want to say that maybe Monty is a bit...mmmm... challenged. A little off the hook. Well, in a way, I'm alot off the hook. And, that is a good thing, I tell you! Think of all the people that you know that are "on the hook", exactly... boooring. It's okay to be a little, how shall I say, "different". I see the world like a mesh of gears. You know how perfectly gears fit together? And then they rotate completely in sync. There's a long explanation about involuted surfaces, but we don't need to go there. Oh, wait, we already did!! Well, okay, forget I said that! So, everything fits together... perfectly. Like I said in a previous post. When we practice gratitude, we are acknowledging the perfection of the universe. That is one of the most important reasons for gratitude. We are saying, Universe, you're perfection is amazing. It is gratifying. I am so blessed to be part of it. So blessed to participate. Even if I hate this moment because of my judgments of it! This too is bringing me home... home to peace... home to love... that turmoil I feel settles down to a wholeness I can experience, if I let myself. With gratitude, you can start to trust the universe. Trust even the decisions that may have made issues in your life for you! The gratitude allows you to let it all go. You don't have to hold on to this stuff. Really, you can let it go. And, then too, there is the matter of your "attention". Did you ever hear the phrase, "pay attention". It means - please direct your life-force here. Literally. So, your attention directs your life-force, the stream of who you are. And, we can actually use our mind and ideas that can entrap us to free us. Sounds like smoke and mirrors doesn't it?!! I can tell you for sure it is not. Again, remember I said we are navigating the quantum space without a license. Well, of course when we were born we came in with a handbook, right? Oh, you mean you didn't get yours? Wtf? Sorry, couldn't help that... So, yeah, there was no handbook and that is perfect too. How could you ever get to be who you choose to be with one? Still, you need to know the rules. Gratitude is one of the rules. That's it. Everything that happens to you is there for a reason. And, by the way, not one your local mind can always understand, and that is perfect too. Wow. I sound like I'm talking in parables. I'm not really. Just off the hook a little, shall I say... don't you just love it!! I do and so does the universe!!

Ross... hmmm...

Did you ever meet someone and you are both attracted to them and bothered by them. I won't say repelled, but there's something that you are a little uneasy with. Yup... that feeling's name is Ross! When I first met Ross, I can't tell you what went through my mind. Well, actually, I can and I am... I'm at the labs in Dr. Hubbel's office and I get introed to this guy. He seemed like one of the research lab workers. But, there was something about him. Ya know, boyish good looks. A little rough around the edges, but smart, and like a Christmas package, you can't tell what's inside. Oh, you can shake it, and by the way, I did. Of course, he shook me quite a bit as well. But, that is how we find out about ourselves. Self discovery happens in relationship, right. So, isn't that the point. When we engage in a relationship we can find out more about who we are. That's part of the magic of life. And, you know how I love the magic of life!!

More Magnificence...

I was going to start this post off with an apology, but for what? I told the truth. And, by the way THAT is what we do as humans. We see the magnificence of us... then pull back. Could I have been a bit more delicate... mmmm... not my strong point! First off, I got a little carried away yesterday. It's just I see soo much potential around me. Sometimes it takes so much for us to finally get resolve and turn things around. Do the phrases "darkest before the dawn" or "I hit rock bottom" sound familiar? Sometimes for some people that's what it takes before they get their mind out of the way and begin connecting to the "quantum space" where all the answers live!! I've heard it before, "something just happened and I knew..." What do you suppose that something was? That was the deepest "you" literally connecting to creation! The deepest you in search of creation... your own creation. And, it connected!! That's when the "turn" happens. Everything just looks different and you begin navigating the "quantum space". Just like Columbus, just like Magellan. That would be the metaphor. You are finding a new "land" to live in. A new way of being. A new way of living. And, like I said yesterday, when I was ranting truth... decision by decision, situation by situation, discernment by discernment. It's a voyage with purpose AND vision. Your vision. The Vision of YOU! The vision of the Magnificence of YOU! That is the new frontier. How exciting... I've got goose bumps...

Magnificence

Yes, the magnificence of the human spirit! Wow! I get so geeked to address that! The perfection that we are. Is there imperfection in our perfection? Sure, that's the point! We sit back and judge and call the judgment imperfection. Nahh... that is actually taking us home. How could THAT be imperfect. See, the universe, it all works. It is magnificent and we are magnificent beings in it. We need to learn to chill, folks. Yeah, quit choking up on the bat, my friends, and let that ball come to you. You can find it. You can connect. You don't need to go looking for it, you know. If you chill you will see it. Can't miss it. That's what we are in the process of learning. Let go and let God. God IS in the quantum space. The thing is, we won't do that until the options seem very limited and we "think" we are in a heap of trouble! We "think" we can figure it out... there is NOTHING to figure out, my friends. And, it doesn't matter whether you do!! That's what I was getting to about the "quantum space". Do you "think" that if you can figure it out or understand it, it will operate any better? It's already operating. What can you possibly do to make it better? So, chill and just navigate it. How do you navigate it? Ah, that's your real question isn't it? All that busy mind stuff. But, you just feel vulnerable, that's all. "Please help me," you say. "Is there someone "out there" who can help me?" Well, no, actually. There are those that can assist, but you need to do the work. You need to make it happen. And THAT misunderstanding, someone can "help" you, is the biggest fallacy on planet Earth. You are the source of all your issues and all your great fortune. Hey, look, you are operating in the quantum space without a license!! Yeah, that's right! Then your mind wants to argue with me and say I don't have it right!! Oh really? Well, the way I see it YOU are the one looking for help! I'm okay and you're okay. However, the issue is YOU don't think so. Isn't it? Let's tell the truth here. I'm comfortable with the mystery. Are you? Maybe that's the point. We need to get comfortable with the mystery. Do you think it was "easy" to do the things I did? I challenged everything in my life. If it hadn't been for Alex I don't know what I'd have done. But, let me tell you, there was no "Deus Ex Machina". No "voila" stick that made things right. I had to keep navigating... day by day, situation by situation.

And, yes, there are some of us with larger "problems". I get that. We can be born into this life with them. That's the point, to chunk through them. I'm not laying a bad trip on you, really. I'm not. But, we need to become present enough in this reality to "see" what is happening. So, give God Honesty and he will give you Truth! Most important thing I ever heard! It is okay to be totally pissed about things. In fact, once you recognize, and accept it you can get it out and see more of you! Then you will see glimpses of that Magnificence that you are. It's stunning, I mean really stunning. Like you have never been stunned in your life!!

The Quantum Space

The quantum space can be defined logically to some degree to the "satisfaction" of the mind. But, actually, it is beyond the "local" mind. Healing modalities come from this space. To really "understand" this i.e. make the local mind happy with the answer... lets go back to the universe. When you look up at the stars at night, as beloved Carl Sagan used to say, we see "billions and billions of stars". True, and in our "small" capacity the universe is "untouchable" and unknowable. I mean really. However, what my expereince says is that anytime something "seems" unfathomable or we can't relate to it, we just need to change our perspective. This is even true if you understand Einstein's "Relativity". Even he talked about frames of reference. There's the observed guy traveling at the speed of light who is almost not aging. Then there's the observer, you. THAT is the frame of reference I'm referring to. YOU are the observer and you think certain things are happening by observation. Yet, the "reality" of it is, and we talked about reality a few posts ago, the guy you "think" you're looking at is not aging... but you ARE. Okay, frames of reference. So, what I'm saying we must need a different frame of reference to "see" the universe so that it is knowable!! Simple! Are we there yet... close. We "just" need to make some small transitions that may seem huge to us now, leaps of "faith" even, to get there. This is what Jesus, or the one they call Jesus, tried to "teach" his disciples. As soon as Peter thought about things when he was "walking" to Jesus on the water, he sank!! His reality set in. The water will not hold me... there is nothing there... and by anaolgy, I can never reach the stars... yes, from our current perspective, but that does not mean that it is true... to put that all in perspective... Newton defined dynamics, but it was only part of the total picture. Newton's work soon became a small part of Einstein's Theory of Relativity. So, we started with Newton and what he did had great value. Then Einstein embellished it with his "Theory of Relativity". In the scheme of all things at this point, there is something that contains Einstein's Theory of Relativity. That is, a theory that "contains" Relativity as a sub-set, a part of its total scope. THAT will provide the perspective to see more of the possibilities in terms of the navigation of the universe. Just like, as I mentioned in the "Genius" post, about the world being round. It took awhile to overcome the politics and resistance of it all. Keep in mind time does not truly exist! Oh, but then I explain that to Dr. Hubbel and he really "gets" it. Which is exciting for both of us. But, hey, this is ALL mind candy!! You don't need to know any of it. Why would you? Do you think because your mind can understand it, it makes it any more useful? I only wanted to point out here that there are things operating in the universe that we can begin to explain in light of all the genius that has gone before. I didn't just invent it now. It is operating as I speak! So, I explained all this for two reasons, 1) That all I have said can be easily verified based on current knowledge and 2) to motivate you to go deeper into who you are and what YOU can do in this quantum space that is operating.

Genius

It's funny how we all recognize genius. I mean it's like genius is defacto. It just is, right? Watch... I say Einstein... What comes up? I say Edison? What comes up? See what I mean? How about Isaac Asimov? So, there is something about these guys that we just "get". One of the things I learned about genius is what I call "scope". They don't limit themselves. I was almost going to say "limit themselves in any way", but then I don't that for sure. What I do know is that they have a broad scope and they do their own "thing". Edison sleeping in "cat naps". And certainly Einstein had his style. Not sure I can define that, but there was a style there. Even though he was a "scientist" he referenced God. So, for him there was a unity of all things. Interesting how long it takes for those kinds of insights with that kind of scope to "catch on" and be like "everybody knows". Here's something really interesting. It has been discovered that the Greeks knew the "world" was "probably" round! Yes, they did this by measuring the length of "shadows" at various latitudes. So, the arguments that "everybody knows" about the world being flat or round occurring in the middle ages may actually have had much deeper political implications. So then there were these Greek geniuses too!! These were very highly evolved studiers of the universe. I heard a shocking statistic, at least to me. The "Milky Way", our galaxy, is 130,000 light years across! Light travels at 183,000 miles/hour. And, it would take light 130,000 years to cross JUST our galaxy of which our solar system is a VERY small part! Add to that - there are hundreds of thousands of galaxies in the universe! Feeling small yet? That's not the point, but I did want you to be with that. No... what this just says is OUR INTREPRETATON of the unverse, what we see, seems to show us that. It doesn't say that it IS that way!! Hence, the quantum space. What is the quantum space? That's a great question!

Reality

Well, I may as well just tell you... Reality is Unreal! Yes, that's right you heard me. And, no, I am perfectly sane and ALL my wiring is in place!

When I had my interview with Dr. Hubbel we talked about "reality". The conclusion we came to is that "reality" is unreal. How so? It has to do with perspective and "life experiences". After that discussion, the thing I found humorous is when people would say, "The reality of it..." because what always needs to follow that phrase is "for me!" It is all about the conditions you have generated in your life and your outlook at any given time. One person can have many more possibilities in their life. They are optimistic. They see the glass half full. Half empty does not occur for them. Have you known optimists like that? Look at Edison. When he invented the light bulb, on his last failure, he said something like "I found 99 ways not to do it." His focus was on doing it. Some call that genius. The light bulb is not an efficient source of light, but it does give light and you don't need a fire going to get it. So, my point today is that reality is personal. Maybe that's why Mark Twain said, "Your opinion of me is none of my business!" Your opinion is a product of your judgments and evalutaions. Who knew he was a scientist probing "reality"... see that's my reality...

Intensity

Some days are just intense. There can be a variety of reasons for that. The important thing at the end of the day is to just be able to let it all go. All life just IS... yeah... it just is. There are various things we buy into in our process of living. And, what IS more important than life. Ultimately, life is our authenticity. It is the reality of us. Watch your life "play out" and you have a sense of your spiritual journey. As you engage in the outcomes, your life actually shifts. That is why at the end of the day... let it all go. By doing this you have a shot at altering all that has gone before. In the process of living, we can miss words that are spoken that come from our own emotional attachments to the ongoing outcomes we are generating through our emotional energies. The release allows a reset. It creates a transparency for us to take a look as if with new eyes, at least eyes unclouded by our attachments and judgments. That process is important. This process is similar to the adage, "A watched pot never boils!" We see this lesson in all of life. Try holding your breath for 3 minutes... yeah, that's what I mean. Same analogy. So, my point is, it is important to take regular breaks from life and the end of the day is perfect. It can be as simple as ending the day with gratitude. Your life, no matter what outcomes may have been generated, is this perfect gift for you. As much as we might "think" otherwise, life is not a random event, but very specific and very specific to the energies you hold on to. We worked with these in the lab. I've seen them permeate people in very surprising ways. Of course, that's why Dr. Hubbel hired me. To somehow see these correlations and make "sense" out of them. You CAN release yourself from all these accumulated judgments and emotional energies. At some point I can talk about that. What you do is very intuitive. At its heart you always know what to do... the trick is to DO it!!

Don't You Just Love it!

Yes, I do! It's how changes occur. There's all this fear in the way. Then suddenly something just wells up inside you! Even though their comfortable, we can sit in our smelly diapers only so long then they start to itch. That is even a good metaphor for our health. You can "tell" yourself whatever you want... then there is the truth. The Truth is the "real" effect your actions are having in your body. You need to serve that up, even though it seems painful. That's why Alex has been so helpful in my life. I go in deep, find the spots of discomfort and talk about them to her. She's been amazing for me. If there is a reason to have an objective friend - that's it. Not to get biblical on you, but from my perspective that is the whole point of Chapter 12 - Gifts of the Spirit. Each of us has different gifts to share. Find that gift and share it!! Marsha Sinetar - did a book - "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow". By the way, she didn't say close your eyes, quit your daytime job and leap. Ultimately you wind up doing that and THAT is EXACTLY how it looks, but that's like saying ... oh that's an overnight sensation... yeah over 20 years!! So, my real message is prepare. Like from Godspel - "Prepare yee the way of the Lord.." that would be you. Let your goodworks go before you as a testament to your greatness. Learn to believe in yourself. Pull away all those ideas and that stuff in the way. My mother thinks, my father thinks, this person won't like... first off... I would ask, "Do you know that for sure? Or, are you making it up out of a deeper fear..." So, don't you just love it, pick up that fear and have it walk with you! Start doing what inspires you! That's really what the message of my story is. The journey of 1000 miles starts with one step... make that first step and when you finish it... you'll know the next step... so, write that email, send that text, mark that calendar, as Nike says "Do It!" And, when you've done that... let me know how it went!!

Is Dr. Hubbel In?

Ah yes, Dr. Hubbel. None of my comments here would be complete without his mention. Call it what you will, but Dr. Hubbel is basically doing psychic research! In his lab, he is probing into the mind, how we perceive reality and what we can do with that kind of data. Well, at least he has been getting grants for that. My work with him has been moving rapidly as we test various subjects and see how they react in our experiments. Sometimes it's pretty intense. Like the time Ross flipped out from lack of sleep. Now that I mentioned Ross, I have to tell you, even though he is a bit younger than me, I haven't met a man with more heart. Really. That's why I noticed him. He does have a few rough edges, but that really is part of his charm. That and the way he was able to disengage from his rich family. Ahh..sweet Ross. Sorry, I shouldn't coo so much, but he did represent a challenge for me to stay focused on my work but HUGE gift at the same time!

First I met Dr. Hubbel and interviewed with him. Talk about the power of attention. I really wanted to work with him and do this "mind" research. So, I just set my sights on it! That simple. Too many times in life we talk ourselves out of things. I could have let my lack of an official PhD hold me back. But, hey, I was ABD! That's all but doctoral thesis. So, I had everything for my PhD, but I had not had my thesis accepted. So close, and in this case cigar!! I figured where could he get a person with my overall experience to assist his research? I was suprised that even with their budget restrictions he had some very sophisticated equipment. Then too, maybe they measure psycho-kinetic influence with meters in "Ghostbusters", but that's not the way it really happens. Sometimes data is just data, you know. Two dimensional, on a sheet of paper! Doesn't sound very futuristic does it? In that case, I would love to have the napkins of Albert Einstein! Futuristic, indeed! It's more about what the data is physically saying. Anyway, THAT is exactly why Dr. Hubbel wanted me to work there. He had a good sense about what I could do, especially after we had the "reality talk" at my interview. I even started to make changes in process before I was working at the labs officially.

Talk about a reduction in my stress level! The labs made my work at ICE look like slave labor by comparison. Work at the labs was tough in the beginning, but the wrinkles soon smoothed out. Hey, my attention was on making my life more fulfilling. Isn't every change like that? You know, there's all this fear going into it and soon, if you haven't over-thought everything, things just get better. Change agents motivate you, but then you need to grab the bull by the horns and make the "hard" decisions. Well, I did!! Freaked Ben Archfeldt out, but that's another whole story!!

We Interrupt Your Regular Scheduled Montressa Visit!

Montressa is taking a break today so that I can tell you about some of the changes I've made to her blog and some additional information.

1) I added some graphics. Hope you enjoy them. When I told an artist friend of mine about the story, he came up with the sketch you see. I actually have a fully developed complete book for the spiritual/self-help market. It has a completely different, highly artistic cover developed by my son Martin, a graphic designer and photographer whose work is on the front covers of major Detroit mags. But, the spiritual/self help market may be too limited. When I developed the story it was actually a screen play that "played" in my head that I converted into a "novel" format. So, ultimately I want to do the movie which would require a broader market for the book to motivate either independent producers or Hollywood types.

2) My focus is to provide value for blog readers. I'm still in the process of developing "ICE, India & Old Lovers" in terms of the final product and market placement. There will be a follow-on book that I developed with a high profile editor, more on that if there is any interest.

3) I have opened the comments to the public. If you would like to comment on or ask Montressa a question about a specific post or anything about this blog that would be great! Feel free to post it.

4) Any comments you have in the direction of development are welcome as well. I have a friend of mine who has read my pre-publication book and randomly opens to pages in the book every few days and says she always gets something that seems to apply to her life. Her question to me was, "Why haven't you "really" published this!!" Client of mine, as I noted in about MTV, said, "It starts with the journey of the central character and ends with the transformation of the reader." This blog is a product of that embarassing question and that comment!! Then there is the person, the one beside my wife, that really got me moving - see comment 6!!

5) If you enjoy this blog, find it useful or entertaining please forward the link to friends. This is important both for the blog itself and the information that is being shared. Plus, it will guide me in the best way to market the story. My plan as this unfolds is to ultimately development a non-profit. So, as they say, my mission is noble!!

6)Lastly, I need to mention Annie Burnside! She is the author of "Soul to Soul Parenting" and classifies herself as a soul nurturer. First off, stop reading this and go get her book! Yes, that's how important it is! Next, get back to this blog for you to surface the issues in your life that may be holding you back!! We need to shift ourselves so we can be quality parents for our children. Annie has read my pre-publication copy and because of her comments I decided to go full tilt on this!! You can find her on Facebook. Thanks so much Annie. YOU, as I have said to you before, are the REAL DEAL!!


To all the readers: Thanks for reading all this fine-print about the blog. Montressa just can't wait to get back to talking about her life!!

Life is Fascinating

Yes! It is! I have always found life fascinating. Of course in my youth I didn't see it as clearly as I do now. But, then my background was unique too. Still, between all the hard work I've done, Givens and even my family - yes my family even, I am in a place of self ownership. Well, I know for awhile I was at odds with my family. I couldn't keep doing what they saw as my life. That's all. That unexpected trip to India changed my life. Parts of that trip were, to say the least, eye opening! Of course that's what friends are for, too. I need to tell you about my BFF, Alex Tarnoff. I really mean that. Alex has this amazing ability to see right through things. Me certainly. I'd bring my confusion to her and guess what? She'd help me see how it was all me. And, the funny thing is, she was able to do it and I never got upset. I'd be like duh... okay. Even though she and I were buds, she had that detached objective way of being. She would just listen to me. Do you have someone in your life like that, that just listens? You know Dr. Lissa Rankin says that friends and social things extend your life because it invites the relaxation response that is vital to physical renewal. You should check her out she's on Facebook. Well, I can tell you that Alex is a vital friend for me. She always seems to calm me down. Well, Mike says I've been rambling too much. I'm like, hey, this ain't rambling this is my life, dude! You know, life is promises and requests. You make a request, you get a promise. Real simple... as long as you make good on the promise. And, if you can't make good on it... that's okay... just notify the other person. So, my point IS I'm going to honor Mike's request.

Montressa Talks About Her Journey

Well, I'd be lying if I told you I didn't enjoy my job! Oh, I do... well... a... I did... that job anyway. But I did start to see things differently. Ben Archfeldt, he was the COO. My dad put him in charge. When a company crashes you have to do what you have to do to recover your loses. I just saw it as an opportunity to use what I know, not to mention to show my dad what I can do! Oh yeah, there's always that undercurrent that runs through you. That feeling that you are not quite enough. It took me awhile to deal with that. Well, the fact of the matter is that you are more than enough. It's YOU who think you are not enough and the universe responds accordingly! Don't believe me? Don't! That's perfectly fine with me, but I'm going to keep telling you about me. The book will tell you the story and Mike did a good job of capturing those elements. Still, you can't put me in a box so neat and tidy! There's so much more to me than meets the eye in the story. My guess is you can tell already. There's just something about this Montressa person, isn't there. Well, yeaah. That's because there is.

So, back to Ben Archfeldt. Nice guy, a little short-sighted at times, but he WAS my boss and if you are going to be a team player... you play ON the team. You don't go running off to Daddy and say, "Ben, he's being difficult! He want's me to go to India on short notice!" And, part of that is because I do love my dad. Yeah, even though he was a bit short-sighted at times, too. Actually about a lot of things it turns out. Of course that is MY judgment of things. And, as you can tell I do have my opinions about the way the world "should" be. I'm sure you do as well. Well, let me ask you - How should the world be? The first thing you will tell me is - there shouldn't be any suffering, right? Part of he "suffering" comes from resistance and judgment. We say, this shouldn't be this way! It's wrong! Yeah, I get it. I shouldn't have had the parents I did! It WAS wrong!! Well, not exactly. To be totally clear, my parents didn't get there by accident. Neither did Givens! Can you imagine? I learned my greatest most important lessons from Givens, but if I didn't have the parents I had those lessons wouldn't have had the huge impact they did. That's why I got soooo... upset when he got sick. But see, by that point I had finally accepted that I just needed to trust myself. And, I did. And actually, that trust played a role in how I chose to be with Givens.